Wednesday, April 7, 2010

K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple and Sincere)

I got this in the mail today: 

Wedding of Hazrat Fatimah (Radi'Allahu Anha) :

Fatimah (Radi'Allahu Anha) is the youngest daughter of our beloved Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). Out of all the children, she(R.A) was the most beloved to him(PBUH). Hazrat Muhammad(PBUH) said, "The Queen of the ladies in Jannat is Fatimah(R.A)." Hazrat Muhammad... also said, "Fatimah(R.A) is part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me."

When Fatimah (Radi'Allahu Anha) reached the age of fifteen, proposals for her(R.A) marriage began to come from high and responsible families. But the Prophet (PBUH) remained irresponsive.

Ali (Radi'Allahu Anhu), who was 21 at the time, says: "It occurred to me that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I thought, 'How could this be accomplished, for I possess nothing.' At last, encouraged by the Prophet's kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry Fatimah (R.A). The Prophet (PBUH) was extremely pleased and asked, 'Ali! Do you possess anything to give her in Mahr?' I replied, 'Apart from a horse and an armour I possess nothing.' The Prophet (PBUH) said, 'A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.'"

So, Ali (R.A) went and sold his armour to Uthmaan (R.A) for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasulullah (PBUH). Bilaal (R.A) was ordered by the Prophet (PBUH) to bring some perfume and a few other things and Anas (R.A) was sent to call Abu Bakr(R.A), Uthmaan(R.A), Talhah(R.A), Zubayr(R.A) with some companions from the Ansaar (R.A).

When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet (PBUH) recited the Khutbah (sermon) of Nikaah and gave Fatimah (R.A) in marriage to Ali (R.A). He announced, "Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter Fatimah(R.A) in marriage to Ali for 400 Mithqaal of silver and Ali has accepted." He then raised his head and made Dua saying, "O Allah, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children." After the Nikaah, dates were distributed.

When the time came for Fatimah (R.S) to go to Ali's (R.A) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry accompanied Umm Ayman (R.A). After the 'Isha Salaat, the Prophet (PBUH) went to their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both Ali (R.A) and Fatimah (R.A) and made Dua for them.

The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.

In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes very simple and easy to fulfill. "

We are so involved in doing things that conform to the rules of society, often times falling into haraam. Weddings today consist of expensive halls, with costly food, decor, and big cakes ( I had it all except for the latter).  All those people we invited and the many that we couldn't, are all a distant memory. There are only a handful that we're still in touch with. So much of the focus is on the big day, however, it's the rest of the days that matter the most. All those people, for the pleasures of whom we do all these 'wordly' preparations, just eat, wish you well, give their gift and go home. "The bride looked pretty, the food was too spicy... I'm so tired"...and that's it, it's all forgotten. All that preparation...for what? I wish that weddings would be like that of Fatima (RA), such simplicity and beauty.

Does the amount of money spent on a wedding, reduce the anxiety the bride feels? Does it lessen the bittersweet pain of the brides' parents as they give away their precious daughter? Does the pain lessen if she travels in a stretch limo or an antique from the 60's? Is the groom less nervous in an expensive tux or following the lead of a marching band? Does the sincerity of the guests dua's and well wishes for the couple lessen if there are no more then 20 dishes at the open buffet? Does anyone remember the smell of the fresh flowers strewn all over the ground as the bride made her entrance? Given enough time, do the guests remember what colour the bride wore? Many years later, when sitting in a rocking chair, with her grand-daughter in her lap, will the bride recall the minuscule details of her wedding day? Or will she share the memories, experiences and wisdoms gained from the many years of a beautiful marriage with the man that Allah (SWT) had ordained for her? Forget 'many years later', I can't even remember the colour of the napkins at...what was the name of that wedding hall? May Allah (SWT) guide us and forgive us (Ameen).

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